Dear Mr. Properly Subversive

What do you say about a third term for Donald Trump?

Let’s explore it, shall we?

On the plus side, it would drive the late-night comedians crazy, and even Trump’s most severe critics have to admit he’s been on quite a roll. Let’s count ‘em:

• Save TikTok. Check

• Fair trade through tariffs. Check

• Restore biological truth: Men have a penis. Check

• Reduce Inflation. Check

• Demand soldiers do a pull-up. Check

• Keep penis people out of women’s sports and locker rooms. Check

• Restore truth and balance to American history. Check

• Drill, baby, drill. Check

• Lower drug prices. Check

• Declassify MLK and JFK documents. Check

• Restore free speech on social media. Check

• Abolish DEI; restore merit-based opportunity. Check

• Make D.C. safe. Check

• Kick the ass of a nameless Venezuelan drug lord. Check

• Ban low-pressure shower heads. Check

• Make SNL funny again. Working on it

• Make America Healthy Again. Check

• Establish once and for all that dogs make better pets than cats. Check

• Lower food Prices. Check

• It’s “ladies and gentlemen,” not “theydees and gentlethems”

• Stop illegal immigration. Check

• Deport criminal illegal aliens. Check

• Make foreign prisons great again. Check

• And finally, bring World Peace. Check-Check & Check-Check

And all this good stuff comes in the first 9 months of his service. We’ve never seen anything like it in modern history. What’s not to like, unless of course you are a Venezuelan drug lord … or a cat.